Hi there.
another post.
well this time I think I'm going to use this blog more as a diary of my emotions or rather lack of them and my inability to feel anything for the people around me. The reality is i wake up feeling angry and aggressive and feel like renaming my post - DIARY OF AN ANGRY MAN. it seems much easier for me to disagree and argue with people and even dare i say it, hate people than it is to love all that i see around me. I'm aware that this makes me part of the problem and not the solution to the worlds ills. Please Jehovah, let me relate in a more loving way to the people around me. so what are my feelings. the truth is I don't know any more. I feel like my mum and brother are strangers but i know that it is rather my lack of positive feeling and affection towards them that make me the stranger. My family are wonderful, nice people - it's me who's aggressive and unkind . please let remorse kick in so that everyone's time on this earth can be more rewarding. Its selfish and that I'm am being hostile as in reality undermining others by my conniving hostility is making the community and by that i mean, the whole world community, worse off - jealousy, envy, sexual preoccupation and feeling of dog eats dog which is not the reality. all of these things make the world a worse place as we are all from the same African mother. We are related. Analysing people rather than loving them makes the world a worse place and the self centred, self pitying attitude that i have only hinders others lives so all of this has to change

i went around my friend Davids' house yesterday, and he is so passionate and feeling and compassionate in a way that I'm not. please not allow me to be envious of him but instead to be more like him. He has had terrible epilepsy but he never feels sorry for himself, but instead is bewildered by how horrible people can be to each other. He as much as anyone has shown me my own depravity and there is no more reason or excuse for my negativity than there should be for his.
there are no excuses for hatefulness as this is a vicious circle that nobody can benefit from.

We saw Swimming Pool with Charlotte Rampling who was really good as a writer in France and then there was the sexy young girl ( really in Charlotte Rampling's character's imagination) and then my mind goes to sex whereas she was really a vulnerable girl who had lost her mum and needed love and i think i have ruthlessly exploited and disrespected women in that position to fulfil my own ego driven sex drive that is really more interested in the sex than in the women.

Please god allow me the good grace to know that i have done wrong, and that i have been neglectful of others needs and rights and that therefore i am extremely lucky to have this house /flat provided to me by the state when i have been so rejecting of this society and of my own family and community. Please let my emotions recognise where i have gone wrong so that i can change and let me rectify my arrogant attitude and emotions so that i am positive and never feel sorry for myself. no one is above the law - everyone is accountable for their actions and let me embrace the fact that I have been treated very fairly when others haven't
I haven't been raped
I have been given great opportunities
mum harbours little resentment for the difficulties that i have given her
let me be a better brother son and friend to all of those around me and lift them with love and genuine concern and compassion.  I let go of selfishness for once and for all

I promise people that i am trying to change myself and show myself to you warts and all. i know i deserve to be judged but hope that you can keep an open heart towards my misdemeanour's

On a positive front, I would like to announce that i am writing a vampire thriller that i hope to put out on kindle soon and i hope that i can bring myself to be little more perfectionist in order to make it good and to help other with in a smiling positive way

Now I really did have the intention of stopping smoking, doing more exercise and eating better so later on today i will look on the internet to find out how to make sugar free diet and make it lasting and good and then get a plan for walking so that i can keep fit. Who needs the gymnasium after all when you've got nature out there

yesterday on my walk near minster Lovell i saw a deer that just stood and stared at me. It almost looked fake because its silhouette was so perfect and still. Like a cardboard cut-out. when it grew tired of me it just sauntered up the hill in it's little wood and it was so well camouflaged. Nature can be wonderful. I think im going to work out a walk that takes me into Witney and then back here again along footpaths so that i do it every day and don't get lazy and don't do too much TV watching.

Ok - first things first - lets get that walking plan together.

I HOPE ONE DAY SOMEONE MIGHT READ THIS AND PUT OUT SOME COMMENTS

Another thing to do would be to take my camera out and do some photos on my walks.
That would be nice

HI guys this is me trying to post a link to a mapmywalk for carterton which i have been researching. i hope it works. I'm going to test this walk in the new year , hopefully with a gps system on my mobile



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Burford Wild Life Park

at the moment im trying to download things onto my blog to get to grips with the process but hope in future to make it more interesting for you.

anyway lets try uploading another image of my lovely town just to get things going

As you can see, this is not actually an image from my town but believe me or not it's not too far away. In fact this little creature is a
Prairie Dog homed at the Costwold wild life park near Burford, which is a famously beautiful town some 8 miles to the west of here. I often think Witney is the gateway to the Cotswold's which I hope most people are familiar with. In fact, Burford is the first proper Cotswold town before you go further west into Gloucestershire and eventually getting to the Welsh border.
An interesting (not!) fact is that i once did a market research questionnaire outside the Burford public toilets as well as various other public toilets in the vicinity of the West Oxfordshire borders with the aim of ascertaining which toilets were used least and therefore which conveniences they could close first. Thankfully, Burford's services are well used as there are so many tourists (often American or Japenese). A toilet at the East end of Witney town ( curiously called the West end - don't ask!) was hardly used at all. I spent 2 hapless hours outside this establishment and not one person used them. They've now been refurbished and turned into a lovely home as the building was quite historical.


anyways - back to Burford. Th wildlife park there has many great creatures and the one above is one the nicest. Why don't you come and visit some time and check out the other beautiful creatures a the park. I'll even be your guide

picture at old minster lovell at better time of year

I'll be waiting for that summer heat. This is a photo I think looking towards the dovecote in old Minster Lovell. The river down there ( the Windrush is lovely)

due to the invasion of the American crayfish we are encouraged to fish them out of here and it's illegal to put them back once caught. I did take home a bucket of the critters but there's really not much meat on them at all

saturday 27th december

My attempts at embedding a map have not really gone very well - just a tangle of code published onto the blog. I think I'll try and erase that - most unbecoming. I saw a lovely drama last night about a love affair between two middle aged people in 1969 - they had known each other from a time when they had sung in a choir back in 1929 or thereabouts and got together again after a documentary was made of that event. It was a BBC 2 production written by Victoria Wood and starring Michael Ball and Imelda Staunton with some great song and dance numbers done a little bit in the style of the Singing Detective but perhaps a little more warm-hearted. It struck me what a lovely cheerful and open hearted guy the Michael Ball character was - so opposite to prickly hostile me . My aim in the next year is to become kinder and more loving and lovable like this character - I have been way to selfish and cruel in my life and this has to change. Today I have, again with frustration and negativity in my heart been trying to get myself a new shopping and dieting regime together including the use of Quinoa which is supposed to release sugars very slowly. I want to eat more healthily and more strictly in general so this should help. I found a website on line, called My Supermarket which allows shoppers to compare all the prices of products from different supermarkets and of course, Aldi comes out top which is what you would expect.

Regarding the name of my blog, I've realised as someone had already mentioned on line, that it is perhaps better to do a 'life' blog, not just a specialist one and perhaps use 'pages' to put up other blogs or at least incorporate other aspects of my life into the same blog. Perhaps i could write reviews or poems about the things i have experienced or seen on line and please Jehovah or please allow me just to be a nicer person to be around and a morally better person - just more loving and kind. oh, by the way, I do feel lonely so would welcome any comments on my blog. But please be positive, thank you

well guys - hi there - I've uploaded my photo using the google snapshot option - or at least that's what i think its called - i hate my image - fat, red and thuggish - what i want to do next is try to get adsense set up - I'm not a mercenary or anything but i just want to keep you abreast of whats going on. Infact, I think my post will also be about the process of setting up and using a blog although i think ill try and put this kind of stuff on a different page as it will be boring for those looking for pure information on the nature around these parts.

What i want to learn to be able to do is to label the photos so that you can see where I've been and perhaps access it through google maps although there's still some way to go with this
bye bye for now!

Tentative Beginnings

Well hello there my fellow bloggers and those who search for their loves and souls through this vast tangle of information we call the bloggersphere! I'm a newbie to this whole thing. I've got a lot of time on my hands and in some way want to start thinking that at least that I'm offering something up to the world that might be appreciated and helpful. On January the 13th I shall be getting my virgin Internet connection which should be quite fast and I need to decide what I can share with the world.
 Well, for one thing I've decided to start going out on long daily walks in my beloved West Oxfordshire where we really are blessed with some beautiful countryside. I can also use this opportunity to get more familiar with the history and folklore of the local flora and fauna. With this blog i aim to chart my walks ( I need to work out how to incorporate gps) and to post photos charting the year showing the different moods of nature and climate and offering interesting local history. On the one hand, this might get local people interested in what's out there and perhaps folk from more far afield might be able to get some insights into the wonderful nature and traditions of my local area.

anyway, today is all about trying to get my own head around this blogging thing. I'm now writing using my mothers laptop, as she presently has access to the Internet but I hope over the main part of the year to come, most of my content will be proffered up via my own PC which is still lonely and Internetless.